Where are your shoes?
Get in the car.
But what should parents be saying to their children each day to get them throughlife?
How are you?
“Questions open doorways to conversations,” she said.
It lets children know you have an interest in who they are as people and leads them to independence.
Simple questions like “How are you feeling?”
help children identify their own desires and share their emotions, Russell said.
Questions can also build critical thinking skills.
Parents today feel the need to solve all their children’s problems, but questions can be empowering.
Well what are you going to do?"
That question lets the child know you have confidence in their ability to solve their own problem.
She said sometimes just saying “You are kind” can make it a reality.
Thompson said parents should make an effort to “catch” their kids doing somethingkindand acknowledge it.
And encouraging them to be kind to themselves will result in them being kind to others.
Genuinely saying you’re sorry when you lose your temper or make a mistake helps build trust.
But empty praise keeps kids from find meaning in their efforts.
Acknowledging when they’ve worked hard will go farther, saidLynn Zakeri,a mother and clinical therapist.
And praises for one child may not be fulfilling for another.
Meeting children wheretheyare, and assessing their individual needs is the best approach to praise.
Another tip Zakeri gives is to talk to children while walking the dog or driving together in the car.
Sometimes making eye contact is too intimidating for kids.
Taking away that intimidation will get kids to feel less judgement, and encourage them to open up more.
It’s much easier to criticize kids on what they’re doing wrong.
How was your day?
Instead ask them how their day was and actually listen.
Don’t make it about you, but be open to what they are sharing.
And don’t ask with your cell phone in your hand or your laptop open.
Let them have a genuine moment of your attention.
Solving small childhood problems prepares children for the bigger problems they’ll face as adults.
The glass is half full
Every day is filled with the opportunity to turn negatives into positives.
Burying problems or ignoring them leads to addiction or behavioral issues.
Parents can lead by example and be mindful of how they react to problems.
Instead of complaining or talking negatively, parents should practice finding silver linings and solutions.
“Words have power,” DeGarmo said.
Words can heal or hurt, encourage or destroy.
DeGarmo has cared for more than 50 children through adoption, foster care, biological kids and homeless children.
Through his work in foster care he has seen the power behind those words.
Thompson said kids want to feel safe in the world.
Thompson said it helps reconnect each day and battle feelings of isolation and fear.
As a mother of two active young boys, Thompson started an online community to support mothers calledHonest Mamas.
Because sometimes there are empowering things moms need to hear every day too.
Gratitude shows another level of love and appreciation for them and their value as people.
When you look in the mirror, be mindful to comment on what you like about what you see.
Don’t focus on the areas you think need changed.
“Dare yourself to love yourself exactly the way you are,” Walsh said.
Let your children see that it’s okay to love who you are exactly the way you were made.
Look in the mirror with your child and tell them what you see that you love.
Try things like, “I love the way my nose crinkles when I smile.”
Remember the operative word is “playing” a sport.
Healthy competition is great, but no one should be out for blood.
But at the same time, they can always choose to be kind.
Soos said she works to instill kindness as one of the top family values for her children.
So you could’t lose it."
Boundaries, rules, consequences, communication and accountability all create the safe place children need, Soos said.
Each night she plays “Three things” with her children.
She tells them three things she loves about them and they say three things they love about her."
They can be silly or serious, but the ritual is reinforcing all the ways they are loved.
“It’s okay if you fail.
What are you working on?
McCarville and her staff adjust their curriculum daily, based on where the children are in their development.
Just talking to children teaches them the vocabulary they’ll need to develop reading skills later in life.
Asking children what they’re working on builds that vocabulary.
Too often parents focus on having their children meet arbitrary mechanical milestones instead of trusting the process of childhood.
If a child doesn’t have all their letters memorized it’s not because they aren’t intelligent.
Instead of telling a child where they should be, parents should ask them where they are.
Are you happy with it?
McCarville and her staff also don’t give empty praise for artwork and projects.
Giving feedback like “I can see you put a lot of effort into this drawing.
Childhood is an endangered concept, and too often children are expected to act like adults.
An acorn isn’t an oak tree as soon as it is planted in the ground.
It needs water and sunlight and nutrients togrowinto a tree.
Childhood is a process, and it’s one that parents and children have to trust.
Children are whole people exactly as they are today.
A child is not a small adult.
A child is a child.
