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A first date is a game of chance.
However, what comes after that first date is another story.
If you are interested, on the other hand, sometimes knowing what to say can be incredibly mind-boggling.
After all,texting can be tricky, as there’s no body language or cadence involved.
So without a one-size-fits-all approach to creating the perfect follow-up text, what can people do?
Well, there are a few types of messages experts suggest youshouldn’tsend.
“How are you?”
“Add something specific to your text to showcase your sense of humor and build a connection.”
Like Cox suggested, humor is a great way to show your witty side.
Try following up on a topic he spoke about on the first date!
“Are you on Facebook?”
Social media is a double-edged sword for dating.
“Let’s grab coffee tomorrow.”
We’ve all seen it happen to a friend.
Forensic psychologist and certified relationship expert,Dr.
It can appear to the guy you dated that you have nothing else going on in your life."
So play hard to get for at least a little bit, and don’t make yourself too available.
Suggesting to meet the following day can also convey a sense of neediness.
Instead, ask a friend tograb a drinkand tell him or her how your date went the other night.
“Let’s go somewhere nicer next time.”
Perhaps you left the logistics of the date up to the other person.
But put that way, it reeks of gold digger."
A flirty look-at-me selfie
Everywhere you look, it seems someone is shamelessly taking a selfie.
Jane Greer, a New York-based relationship expert and author ofWhat About Me?
Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship,suggests not sending your date one.
At least not without their request.
Maybe the first date went so well that you’re feeling extra flirty.
You might feel like you want that special someone to see just how good you look.
But, like Dr. Greer,Dr.
“This will also place any thought of a potential relationship out of the window.
He will text you, but only on those long lonely nights.”
Patience is a virtue, my friend.
And you are worth it.
Keep it PG no matter how flirty you feel.
“Finally, I met a guy who can hold a conversation.”
There’s nothing better than a first date that is filled with flowing conversation from start to end.
But there’s nothing worse than drawing attention to your track record of horrible past relationships.
Cox advised, “Leave others out of it.
Comparing your date to others is not a good way to start things off.
You’re looking to improve your dating life after all and not live in your past.
Absolutely no text at all
Dating games are messy.
If you don’t, they’re likely to move on.
“I’m happy you want kids.”
If you want kids, finding a partner who also wants children is often a dating requirement.
Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author,expressed the importance of taking things slow.
“Jumping the gun on this can really scare him off.”
Even then, it’s not a conversation to have through text messages.
“Let me see what you’re working with.”
Perhaps you are super attracted to your date and want to see what he looks like underneath it all.Dr.
It’s only normal to feel sexual tension if there’s an attraction.
If you want a long-term relationship, patience may very well be better for you in the long run.
Physical intimacy can come later!
A text flooded with emojis
There’s no doubt about it emojis are fun.
But emojis can also go from flirty to childish in the blink of an eye.
“Adding too many [emojis] can make you seem immature,” Cox shared withThe List.
Save the weirder emojis for when you know each other better.”
Anything that stinks of criticism
Criticism can put a damper on anyone’s day.
It’s bound to open a can of worms.Dr.
Expressing criticism through texts “sounds hypercritical and could easily go the wrong way,” Buffalmano said.
“Sorry for being nervous”
Being nervous on a first date is totally normal.
“I believe in lifting the pressure off and sending a post-date text to lighten the load.
you’re free to send a text like, “It was so great meeting you tonight.
Here’s one of my favorite workout mixes for the next time you head to the gym.”
That way you are touching on something he loves and encouraging him to think about you again.
“I can’t believe the server messed up your food!”
There’s no way to make everything go perfectly on a first date.
Sometimes things happen that are out of your control like the server giving your date the wrong entree.
But negativity often does more harm than good.
“Refrain from sending him negative messages,” Cox toldThis List.
“Instead, be positive and fun to be around.
It will instantly make you more attractive.
The food is only a minor detail on a first date, after all.
Company and connection areeverything.
Soon you’re glued to your phone and the hours have gone by without you even realizing it.Dr.
Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author ofWhat About Me?
She suggests sending one or two texts after the first date and then giving the other person some space.
It preempts his attempts to get to know you better.”
Getting to know someone through text messages removes the face-to-face connection from it completely.
It’s one of the best things you might do for a budding relationship.
